Let’s get real, people. About what you ask? Dating.
What is the big deal? Why does society make us feel as if we are missing out on something if we aren’t dating? Why does it take meeting someone else to expedite the process of getting over someone?
Well, I’m sick of it.
I’m a sensitive ass soul. I feel deeply, probably love too deeply too quickly but it’s me. I have no problem being hurt. I think it’s a normal process and should be endured in order to recover effectively.
Recently, I stepped away from a situationship that just wasn’t serving me anymore. No matter the angle I tried to approach it I could not justify being involved with that person any longer. It went on for some time and boy did I want that thing to last. During that time, was I aware of the red flags and problematic actions? Yes. Was I in the mental state to take action on these observations? No. A toxic job will have you holding on the tightest to friends, relationships, bad habits, anything — as long as it keeps bringing you greater satisfaction than what is bringing you the most dissatisfaction. But that’s another post for another day.
Anyway, stepped away from it. WOO! Go me, I’m doing what’s best for me. It’s about time. Like any other break up that’s not a break cuz you were never together, there’s hurt, frustration, anger…all the feels. Nothing surprising, I’m ready to work through it because it’s only going to make me better, stronger, any positive adjective I guess.
So like the responsible young woman I am, I think to myself, “I should probably take this time for myself and focus on myself which probably doesn’t look like dating someone.” Really, I was just at a place where I didn’t want to be bothered by someone or make the effort to get to know someone because I so badly wanted to get to know the amazing dope individual I am…again. But of course, these boys stay active and all of a sudden I found myself at a bar with a nice, successful man who seemed to have it together for the most part. We hit it off of course (smh I need to stop being so enticing), exchange numbers, and next thing you know we have a date set.
A part of me is excited, I’m feeling good. Thinking to myself “the kid still got it.” Not sure why I ever thought I had lost it but I’m back. The world better watch out. But there was this small part of me that was holding me back. I knew I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to jump back into the dating game…happy to sit this one out!
I did not know what was going on. Here I was, a mess and still am. But a mess in the best way, of course. All my friends are saying, “go” and “this is what you need”. But here I was only more confused because how could someone besides me know what I need?
We live in a time where we are attuned to think what we need is based off what other people are doing. We see these lives being lived — lives that look attractive and care-free and try to somehow replicate the process in hopes of achieving it ourselves. I’m guilty of it just as much as anyone else. But what I’m learning is, we know so much more about ourselves than we think. We just need to listen to it without the fear or concern of what others may think.
So, I know I’m just another millennial with a blog trying to navigate my 20s…but I can’t be the only one with thoughts about the societal pressures on dating. I would love to know your thoughts so feel free to comment your thoughts or ANYTHING below!
Real and True 